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Changing the wine world.
The Gaelic, Surry Hills
Thursday June 19th, 2008
At last, our esteemed friends made it over the ditch from NZ to Sydney to regale us with a selection of songs out of their now-extensive back catalogue. My tickets had been booked for weeks and I was keenly anticipating a great show spanning the musical range starting at country before going through pop to electronica and back again. Read the rest of this entry »
The Hopetoun Hotel
Friday May 9th, 2008
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On cramming myself into the snug confines of the Hopetoun, I was faced by the sight of three musicians in debonair turn-of-the-century-esque costume belting out … what exactly? I don’t know, I guess you’d call it arthouse rock. This was The Dawn Collective, and I think it bodes well for the live scene in Sydney if this is the standard of band that plays third fiddle at a Friday night pub gig. Read the rest of this entry »
Without meaning to sound smug … it was only a matter of time.
The World Asscoiation of Printed and Electronic Media has bestowed upon the Yowie its highest honor: The Journalistic Medal of Honor. This award is bestowed upon the media exhibiting the highest level of truthfulness and impartiality in reporting news. Rather than being awarded upon the merit of a single article the Journalistic Medal of Honor represents the general output of any media organisation.
Which means, for you dear reader, the Yowie’s stories, while being the news you need to know, are reported in a way you can trust. When a cure for blueballs was made part of the PBS (20/10/06) Terry Wrist of the Yowie was there, reporting as and when the facts came to hand.
Though it’s not just the hard hitting facts. While most people don’t even believe in Centaurs the Yowie’s reporter, Chiron, interviewed with one! (11/10/06) That’s why the Yowie can be trusted: We get the stories no one else can.
It was the world media that followed the Yowie after Megumi Kusanagi blew the lid on what is now internationally recogniseed as The Frankenstein Conspiracy (6/11/06). A story that shook the very foundations of politics.
If you’re a regular reader of the Yowie you’re probably thinking I’m preaching to the choir. However, the reason for this article is twofold. First, to let our readers know their intelligence in selecting the Yowie for their source of factual, important news has now been recognised globally. Secondly, to thank our devoted readers for their patronage. We will continue to provide you with the facts, indepth interviews, and the kind of ethical standards only a journalist can deliver.
Shock rocker Marilyn Manson has backed a call from the right wing Christian conservative group The Second (no-sexual-innuendo-attached) Re-Arrival Of Christ Tribunal for abstinence to be used as a teaching tool.
“Oh yeah, totally!” says Manson, speaking exclusively to the Yowie. “These people have got it 100 percent right. Abstinence teaches a person self control, it increases their self esteem, and allows them to know who they really are.”
When asked about the apparent disparity between his support for abstinence and his lifestyle Manson replied, “When you initally begin this jouney the first thing you need to abstain from is abstinence itself. Look at it this way, there are two types of people in the world: Religious and secular. Religious people need to abstain from doing the things they enjoy. While normal people abstain from doing the things they don’t. But how are these things to be identified without an initial period of experience and experimentation? That’s why it’s important for religious and secular people alike to, at first, abstain from abstinence.
When told about Manson’s proposal Roger Whitman, spokesperson for the Second Re-Arrival of Christ said, “I’d never considered that. It does seem to make sense.” Mr. Whitman agreed with Manson that abstinence was futile unless it caused discomfort. “Any religious group would agree. Just as it’s taken for granted secular people use abstinence as an excuse for avoiding onerous tasks.
So should people have a period of abstaining from abstinence? Both sides of the religious divide seem to think so.
This will, no doubt, fall upon deaf ears. Yowie readers, so far as my research reveals, have the musical sensibility of an apeman banging two rocks together. So ponder this, intellectual atavists, as you read this review, with your cro-magnon faces screwed up in concentration, you are exhibiting the exact expressions of a babboon with a Rubics Cube.
Classikon’s new release of Rachmaninov’s Piano Concerto Number Three is a masterpiece.
I bet there’s a lot of new and unfamiliar words in that sentence! How about we start with the word ‘three’? It’s the minimum number of beers you consume before you drive. Understand?
Pianist Tamas Vasary and Conductor Yuri Ahronovitch have combined with the London Symphony Orchestra to produce a fresh and exciting version of the most uplifting and demonically difficult scores ever written. Listeners are treated to dizzying arpeggios exquisitely counterpointing tender pastorals. The music flows from thunderous fortissimos and ebbs to hypnotic, leisurly pianissimos.
Not that you barbarians care.You wouldn’t see musical discrimination if it strapped a marital aid to its head, set its hair on fire, and danced on a blood soaked Swastika. I hesitate to use the term ‘casting pearl before swine’ however no readier colloquialism presents itself.
Don’t bother listening to this CD, you’re too ignorant to appreciate it. The more daring amongst you, however, might profit from using it as a coaster.
In entertainment news, US Rapper ‘lil Killer G Doggy Dog has taken Rolling Stone Magazine to court in an attempt to have details of his childhood Chess Prodigy past suppressed.
Rolling Stone allegedly uncovered this tawdry secret whilst doing a piece on ‘lil Killer G (real name Andrew Smith) after his Grammy nominated debut album, “%#%$# the &^$^%$ in the &&^%^ hood” went platinum. Several “irregularities” were uncovered in ‘lil Killer G’s story of his childhood, including claims he spent years in “the system” for a murder he claimed to have committed at age 8, leading Rolling Stone to dig a little deeper.
The subsequent investigation uncovered his rather happy and affluent past in upstate New York, and the alleged Chess ability. The story threatens to be the biggest entertainment story of the year, and is tipped to derail the once promising career of a man who Rolling Stone itself had just two months previously proclaimed “the likely heir to the Tuppac crown”.
A spokesperson for Rolling Stone refused to officially comment, due to ongoing legal battles, but The Yowie has confirmed through Upstate New York Chess Confederation secretary Judith Morrison that ‘lil Killer G was indeed a chess star, with Ms Morrison stating that “Andrew was one of my favourites. A really lovely, polite and well groomed young man, who came from two fine parents, both doctors”. This is significantly at odds with his self proclaimed past of struggle and triumph over adversity, in which he claims he never met his father, and hs mother abandoned him at age 7.
A spokesman for the noted gangsta rapper declined to comment on the specifics of the case, but did said the ‘lil Killer G camp would fight what he called “spurious and false allegations to the bitter, murderous end”. He also maintained the party line that ‘lil Killer G was indeed a “gangsta of the worst kind”, who was “much more likely to commit a major, violent felony like assault, rape, heck even murder, than ponder the relative value giving up a pawn for a bishop”.
‘lil Killer G’s management team went further in their suit, released Thursday, in which they claimed that the Chess Prodigy stories were a “beat up” and a “pathetic attempt to silence the spokesman of his generation”.
Online, fans of ‘lil Killer G have shown almost unanimous support, with one poster, who went by the handle ‘lil Killer B, pointing to a “whiteyman (sic) conspiracy to silence the black man and keep uppity n**** down”.
The case is set down to be heard Monday morning, anda prominant legal expert told The Yowie that “Andrew is screwed. I mean, that being a chess prodify is bad for hsi curent profession is not grounds for any sort of suppression i am aware of.”
Added: ‘lil Killer B has been revealed as Baltimore youth Daniel O’Hare, who apparently is not only white, but also attends an exclusive Baltimore private school. Daniel’s parents have since made him appologise for his comments online, which they described as “rascist and derogatory”.
If ever there was an album that has all the hallmarks of a wanky, aweful, overwrought, terribly pretentious piece of crap, this be that album.
Sufjan Stevens set himself the task of writing one album for each of the 50 states of the United States of America. In this installment, Sufjan pays homage to Illinois, home of Chicago and, well, research is what Wikipedia is for. Go use it 
No one can say with a straight face, not even Sufjan, that that all 50 albums are ever likely to happen. Nor, I would venture, would many people think this was anything but a wanky idea by a pretentious tosser likely to be about as musically valid as most every non-Sargeant Peppers concept album ever released. And it gets worse, as the song titles are amonsgt the longest ever (see song two below), and are often longer than the song they describe.
All of this seems to indicate taht the Gods have aligned all the cards to make this one of the worst releases ever. And yet somehow, God knows how, but somehow, the complete opposite is true, and this is one of my favourite albums of all time.
Sufjan somehow manages to make the external settings play out as an inner dialogue of self questioning in a way that is just so real. Sufjan manages to take places, the river Decatur, and turn it into a stirring, personal song about stepmothers and children; take a serial killing child molesterer like John Wayne Gacy and turn it into a story about the secrets we all hide.
Look, my inner cynic wants to hate this album, with every pretentious hatin’ bone in my body. It wants to not only hate but
This is one album you just have to buy.
