A press release from the NSW Liberal party that was accidentally sent out today is causing the opposition huge embarrassment in the leadup to the next NSW state election.
Titled “Government In Action On [ISSUE] Puts Lives At Risk”, the report appears to be a template for a release on any issue that may arise, and includes complete sentences generic enough to include any scandal that may arise, with “[insert minister name here]” and “[insert issue here]” in the relevant places.
Liberal party insiders were coy about the release today, and rejected claims that the state party was utilising a book purchased from Amazon titled “Being In Opposition For Dummies: Templates And Phrases To Get back Into Power”, claiming it was absolutely scandalous, and indicative of the arrogant cynicism the NSW people have come to expect from this government.”
When it was pointed out that this phrase was in fact in the aforementioned book, on page 108, under “defusing and reversing your own blunders”, the minister called an abrupt halt to the meeting.
Labour, still reeling from a Child Sex scandal involving the former Aboriginal affairs minister Milton Orkopoulos, has seized upon this rare piece of good news, with Premier Morris Iemma proclaiming “this shows the complete lack of originality that has characterized the Liberal’s years in opposition”. When it was pointed out that this phrase was from page 87 of “Running A Territory Government For Dummies: Templates and Phrases For Staying In Power”, Premier Iemma also called an abrupt halt to the press conference.
Senator for the greens, Kerry Nettle, said that this sort of thing would show the Australian public that “the two major parties are really no different, and offer virtually identical policies. We desperately need a third option to keep them honest”. This, in turn, was discovered by The Yowie to be a phrase from “Small Party Politics For Dummies: Politics With No Hope Of Power”, also available from Amazon.
The Yowie was resting rather smug in the knowledge that we had uncovered a major scandal, until it was pointed out that this storyline was, in fact, University Newspaper 101, and available in the Amazon book “Fake, Humorous University Newspaper Stories For Dummies: Ridiculous, Adaptable Plot and Story Lines”.
Rest assured, we are indeed eating humble pie.