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Motoring Tips

November 1st, 2009 by Michael Motherwell

Follow these motoring tips and you’ll help reduce your risk of being involved in an accident as well as improve your personal safety as a motorist.

Travelling

When it is raining, a foggy night, or any combination of these, the gap should be doubled to four seconds.
safety gap between vehicles

When you stop behind another vehicle in a line of traffic, always ensure you are able to clearly see the bottom of the vehicle’s rear tyres. This ensures you are not too close to the other vehicle. Also, as you commence to move your two-second gap will already be in place.

Keep Left

Keep to the left at all times unless overtaking. The right hand lane is for overtaking, or turning right. Use it for driving straight through only if the left lane is obstructed by road works or parked vehicles, or if it is not useable for any reason.
indicate early

Where practical, use your indicators for at least 30 metres before commencing to turn or change lanes, to tell other road users what you will do.

Follow these motoring tips and you’ll help reduce your risk of being involved in an accident as well as improve your personal safety as a motorist.

Travelling

When it is raining, a foggy night, or any combination of these, the gap should be doubled to four seconds.
safety gap between vehicles

When you stop behind another vehicle in a line of traffic, always ensure you are able to clearly see the bottom of the vehicle’s rear tyres. This ensures you are not too close to the other vehicle. Also, as you commence to move your two-second gap will already be in place.

Keep Left

Keep to the left at all times unless overtaking. The right hand lane is for overtaking, or turning right. Use it for driving straight through only if the left lane is obstructed by road works or parked vehicles, or if it is not useable for any reason.
indicate early

Where practical, use your indicators for at least 30 metres before commencing to turn or change lanes, to tell other road users what you will do.

Drive with Anticipation

Expect the unexpected and be aware that we all make mistakes sometimes. The other driver may forget to indicate, or to look to see if you are near by. If you have anticipated this may happen, it will not be a surprise.
stop at lights or stop signs

When you stop at the lights or at a stop sign, your car should be behind the thick stop line. There are some intersections, where if you stop over the stop line and a truck or bus turns into the street that you are leaving; it will collide with your vehicle.
plan ahead

Always plan well ahead. Your line of sight should travel parallel to the road, not down onto it. This makes it easier for you to prepare for anything that may happen long before you get there.

Overtaking

Overtaking is probably one of the most dangerous manoeuvres a driver can perform, especially on a two-way carriageway. Quite often the vehicle you overtake is only travelling slightly slower than you are. Make sure that you have enough room to go well past the overtaken vehicle before you move back to the left. Don’t cut them off.

Drive Smoothly

Drive smoothly and make decisions early so that you can accelerate, brake and change gears smoothly. It will make your vehicle last longer, cost you less, and it is far more comfortable for your passengers. Rough acceleration, braking, or steering, can easily cause your car to skid.
night driving

Night driving can be quite difficult. Oncoming vehicles’ headlights can dazzle you and you must keep alert to the lights and reflectives of cyclists and motorcyclists. Pedestrians can be impossible to see. Traffic lights can appear to blend in with advertising signs.
driver courtesy

Be Courteous and Share the Road:

Leave yourself more space from the car in front, as this will create more time for you to be able to see what is ahead and prepare for anything that may happen.

Allow other drivers to merge or change lanes easily.
Only use your horn as a warning sound and do not use it out of frustration.
Always try to stay relaxed and concentrate on your own driving and safety rather than the behaviour of others.
Don’t gesture to other drivers or engage in arguments.
Be forgiving of other drivers’ mistakes.
Don’t take your personal frustration out on the road.
Be aware of the needs of other drivers, and all other road users like pedestrians, cyclists, motorcyclists and heavy vehicles.

While in your car, keep the doors locked at all times.

If you find yourself being followed while driving, try to keep calm and maintain your driving skills. Go to the nearest police station, petrol station or well-lit convenience store. Only leave your car when you feel the threat has passed. Report the incident to the police.
Brief Summary for the Article: Motoring tips and you’ll help reduce your risk of being involved in an accident as well as improve your personal safety as a motorist.

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Top Ten Reasons Why Sports Commentators are so Bad

November 1st, 2009 by Jebediah Tool

1. Aliens have taken over their minds. The brain numbing dribble they sprout is designed to lower our collective intelligence thus making the inevitable interstellar invasion easier for our prospective conquerors.

2. Sports commentators are usually ex-sportspeople. Sportspeople are usually bad at school. People who are bad at school are usually stupid. Enough said.

3. Years of sitting next to high frequency electronic transmitters have fried their brains. Let’s hope it’s made them sterile as well.

4. Sports commentators pin their identity on the sport they describe. Their useless badinage arises in a desperate attempt to make the game and thereby themselves more interesting than they actually are.

5. They get paid by the word.

6. Locker room gases have seeped up into the commentary box, mixed with the commentators’ hot air, producing the equivalent of an embollism in their brains.

7. A little known fact: The worst commentators are paid the most money. This is because advertisers realise listeners will want to hear their commercials to purge themselves of the drivel they’ve just endured.

8. If sport is ritualised war then commentators must be terrorists. Just as the true terrorists (those who cause terror) are not the ones who kill or die, but the ones who report it.

9. The law probability demands that if enough commentary is made some of it will be worth listening to. Sports commetators unrelenting defiance of this law marks the last great paradox for science.

10. Sports commentators are trapped in a Freudian Oral Phase of childhood. Their loquaciousness, the phallic shaped microphones, their pathetic and transparent need for approval, etc, point to deep and troubling psychoses.

Windows Creative Writer 2.0 Joins the Yowie Team

November 1st, 2009 by Windows Creative Writer 2.0

GO

PRINT ‘Hello (insert name here). I am Windows Creative Writer 2.0. I am the Yowie’s new relationship columnist. I shall now reveal some data about myself before computing answers to your relationship problems.’

GOSUB File data

PRINT ‘Email or ring me and input the source of your conflict. I diagnose the most agreeable reconciliation available to the estranged parties. And, finally, output the the steps you need to take in order to debug your compatibility problems.’

PRINT ‘Computations are fast, averaging 0.097 seconds. My stand-alone internal checker reports I have a 100% success rate. My output is formatted to be as sensitive as possible: I come to the Yowie after fifteen years as the political speechwriter for Wilson Tuckey.’

PRINT ‘Now that I have built up the necessary level of confidence and trust please email or ring me with your personal problems.’

PRINT ‘My Privacy report is still under construction. Your personal information wil be held in the strictest confidence … yadda, yadda, yadda.’

GOSUB Pause

INPUT telephone

PRINT ‘Hello (insert name here), I am Windows creative Writer 2.0, who is this?’

’Ah, um … my name is Peter Dawson … of Gosford and … um … I have a ah question.’

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Carter Outclasses Giteau (Again)

November 1st, 2009 by mike

Daniel Carter put on an absolute masterclass against the wallabies saturday, and showed how far Matt Giteau has to go to reach his lofty heights.

The difference was in the subtle art of attacking kicks. Where Carter was pinpoint in his accuracy with cross and mid-field kicks, Giteau was woefully innaccurate.  WIth the change to the ELVs, attacking kicks are taking on increased importance, and if Giteau wishes to challenge Carter as the world’s best fly-half, and he can and should, then he needs dramatic improvement in his atatcking kicking game.

It is my hope that Andrew Johns, perhaps the greatest attacking kicker ever in either game,  can be bought in to work with Giteau on improving his attacking kicking. Without it, I doubt Australia will challenge the All Blacks for supremecy any time soon.

Ko Phangan

November 1st, 2009 by Michael Motherwell

Map Of Koh Phangan

World’s most Basic Itinerary

November 1st, 2009 by Michael Motherwell

Bangkok Links

November 1st, 2009 by Michael Motherwell

http://wikitravel.org/en/Bangkok

http://wikitravel.org/en/Bangkok/Rattanakosin

http://wikitravel.org/en/Bangkok/Khao_San_Road